Run and seek shelter

Have you ever gone on a blind date and felt like running away the moment you see the female? Hey hey, now relax... I know all the women readers are sharpening their vitriolic verbal skills but can it hurt if the girl hasnt seen you yet and you saw her and decide to make a dash?

This was my first tryst with matrimonial dating..huh weird nomenclature ehh.....

I was in India on an unexpected trip and my parents fixed me up with a software engineer(do I hear sighs in all possible sizes/shapes/tunes?) who was working in a european firm in Hitech City in Hyderabad. We chat up a couple of times.... basically trying to figure out where to meet up.

Nota bina- the following conversation is best experienced with a west godavari accent in mind

me- hey how about coffee day?
behenji- umm....havv abboutt shilparaaamam
me-(i m thinking its one of those upscale restaurants with medieval names and touching my wallet) oh yeah yeah fine.
me- so how do i recognize you?
behenji- you shall see mee in a ooorange salwar kurta. I will be standing outside shilparamam.
me- (electric impulses traverse my cerebral cortex to figure why she should be standing outside and not lounge inside). well ok see you at six.
me- so we are meeting up for dinner right
behenji- nooooo. we will justtt have kofi. I have to go home early and SLEEP.
me- ahem well thats fine we shall make it quick (and possibly painless)


So I take the cab and tell him.....bhai shilparamam chal....during the conversation i am rudely enlightened about shilparamam. its this garden kinda thing with artisans selling their wares with an average of 200% markup.

Did I tell you that that morning I had been to Visa temple in Chilukur (well it s a Venkateswara temple nicknamed so because of the almost guaranteed american visa if the embassy visit is preceded by a visit to the almighty). For those who have been there, and dont do cross country training on a regular basis (hell when was the last time i was on a treadmill?) know that you would have serious trouble with hindleg mobility for at least a day(in lay man terms pain in the...legs).

So I was in the mood to just sit n sip some coffee(beer would have been my top choice but....first date, indian girl....i curbed my alcoholic pang!).

I reach the destination...get out of the cab.....and look around....and accross the wide road, i see this girl in orange.

First impulse- Bhaag le bhidu....yehi mauka hai(translated as- scram/run/evaporate). However I dint want to go back home and disappoint my granny, who of late, has forced her heart to believe that more than her diabetes my bachelorhood is more responsible for her ill health.

I decided to be good....its good to be good sometimes. I went up to her and said hi.....expecting her to say she was already sleepy.

I was half hoping that she would pick some restaurant, instead she went ahead and bought the tickets. Yeah chivalry went to the dogs- here I am, curbing my impulse to run away, hungry, immobile from painful legs and I should pay the entry fee for a park.... for what???

Since you all know I am shallow, I decided to gauge her nature (arent all you women gung ho about the nature of people....i mean....i am shallow because I hanker after looks right). I started telling her the melancholy of my hindlegs. She dipped into her bag and fished out some aspirin. Isnt it what you all expected......why are nice women visually challenged and why are all the lookers bitchy?

Anyways, post aspirin she decided that coffee day was not a bad deal after all. Post aspirin I also decided that I would foot the coffee day bill.

Move over to coffee day-- time for some serious matrimonial type Q & A. This is not necessarily the progression of the conversation, I am just capturing the highlights.

behanji- do you believe in women working after marriage? I have worked hard in life.. gone to REC (prestigious engineering school)....etc
me- oh yeah...i am a firm believer in DINK families- double income no kids.

behanji- do you take dowry?
me- with a contorted face- whattt? where did that come from....NO we dont. (I mean personally i have always wanted to win a lottery ticket and in some ways dowry is like that.. but hell my ma would skin me if she read this blog).

me- so why dint u get married till so late (she was 27).
behanji- u know i was wearing braces(for teeth) and so i dint want to marry till i get them off.
me-(thinking)......how gross would it be to kiss a female with braces?

well the food at coffee day was good- panneer tikka and some juice.
I guess at the end of it we were both pretty sure we would never see/hear from each other again.

So goes my first blind date.

keep tuned for more trysts